The Most Awesomest News Story for the Week of Jan 25-31, 2009

On Saturday, a picture surfaced on the web of Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps smoking what is assumed to be marijuana out of a bong.

No, this isn't actually what I thought was the best story of the week. Honestly, I think it's boring and kind of a non-story. The guy's 23, has more money than he knows what to do with and clearly has an issue with discretion. He parties. So what? His biggest mistake was allowing someone to take a picture with him.

The only reason I even bother mentioning this is because I find the media coverage of this hilarious. The stretches people make in trying to make this into more than what it is are not only baffling, but concerning. Sorry, big media, but no, this does not call into question the validity of his gold medals.

This may be a shock, but weed does not enhance athletic performance. Actually, if Phelps was smoking week while training for the Olympics, his winning 8 gold medals is even more impressive.

I think my favorite quotation regarding this story comes from The View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck. This genius went as far as to ask, "[if he is willing to] take a drug that could impede his performance, would he be open to taking a drug that would enhance his performance?"

Sorry if this one bored you, but (as evidenced by the extensive coverage of this story) it was a slow news week.

Good 'ol Phelpsy tokin' up: Picture
Dumb bitch on The View talking about it: Video

I Think I May Have Been Wrong About Something

On Thursday, I said that I thought The Curious Case of Benjamin Button would beat out Slumdog Millionaire for Best Picture at the Oscars. I figured that even though Slumdog Millionaire had won the award at the Critics Choice Awards and the Golden Globes, the Academy Awards are given out by people from all facets of filmmaking (actors, directors, producers, editors, technical crew, etc.) so they would be more apt to recognize how well The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is made.

However two events over the weekend have begun to make me believe otherwise.

First, on Saturday, the Producers Guild of America gave Slumdog its top honors. This still wasn't enough to convince me, because I think film producers probably appreciated what Slumdog was able to accomplish on its limited budget, compared to the $150 million that Button had to work with.

But, on Sunday, my dreams were shattered when the Screen Actors Guild gave the Best Ensemble Cast award to Slumdog Millionaire. This movie should not even have been NOMINATED in this category. It is a great movie (though I don't think the single greatest of the year), but not due to great acting. Some of the actors in this movie were just plain bad.

This continual blind worship for this movie has nearly convinced me that Slumdog will take home the top Oscar.

This makes me sad.

Check back soon for my complete list of Oscar predictions and my top 10 films of 2008.

The Most Awesomest News Story for the Week of Jan 18-24, 2009

73-year-old lawyer, Peter Buchanan, was in court this week defending some hilarious charges.

Buchanan was arrested last month after striking a CalTrans road worker with his Mercedes. It appears that when the route to his favorite restaurant was blocked for construction, Peter decided that the roadblock didn't pertain to him. He drove through the baricade and hit one of the men working on the road.

After being hit, the CalTrans worker jumped up onto the hood of Buchanan's car to avoid being run over. Buchanan continued on his way without even slowing. He traveled, with the roadworker on the hood of his car, all the way to his freeway exit, where he was met with a road block.

This story is my pick for this week's most awesome simply because I think it would be hilarious to see a car cruising down the freeway with someone clinging to the hood. I know, I'm sick.

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The Oscar Nominees Were Announced This Morning!

This morning was the precursor to my favorite night of the year. Today, at 5:30am PST, the Academy Award Nominations for films released in 2008 were announced, and there were definitely some surprises. Here are some of my initial reactions:

• Most importantly, I'd like to be among the first to say that Slumdog Millionaire will not win "Best Picture" this year. Despite already winning "Best Picture" honors at The Golden Globes, Critics Choice Awards and from The National Board of Review, I think, in the case of Oscar, that award is probably going to go to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I say this not because Button received the more total nominations than Millionaire, but because it is the better film. I think The Academy will recognize this.

• Also, I'd like to congratulate The Academy for knowing the difference between a leading role and a supporting role. Unlike at The Golden Globes, Kate Winslet's performance in The Reader is nominated in the "Lead Actress" category rather than the "Supporting Actress" category. Since Winslet's character in is the only major female role in The Reader and she receives more screen time than any other actor, this clearly is not a supporting role.
  

• Next, I'd like to comment on the five nominees for "Best Picture." Slumdog Millionaire and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button were obvious choices. I don't think anyone is surprised by their inclusion. Frost/Nixon is another film that I think most people predicted would receive this nomination. I, personally, am glad The Academy didn't make the same mistake as the Hollywood Foreign Press (Golden Globes) and look over Milk, another much-deserved nomination. The only big shocker in this category is the absence of The Dark Knight, an absence that I couldn't agree with more. While it was a great film, I just don't feel like DK was "Best Picture" material. I haven't seen The Reader yet, so I'll reserve judgment regarding its nomination. However, I feel like Gran Torino was a bit ripped off here.

• Speaking of Gran Torino, not only did this film get snubbed in the "Best Picture" category, but in every single other category as well. This film's lack of a single nomination is, in my opinion, the biggest shocker of this year's nods.

I have a handful of films left to see before the Awards are given out on February 22. In the coming weeks I will finish watching all of the major nominated films and I'll post a complete list of my picks and predictions for each award, along with my list of the Top 10 films of 2008.

The complete list of nominations for the 81st Annual Academy Awards can be found here.

The Most Awesomest News Story for the Week of Jan 11-17, 2008

Warning: This one is kind of yucky.

We all know that childbirth is incredibly painful. Most women describe giving birth as the most painful thing one will ever experience in her life. Given the physics involved in birthing a child, I tend to believe these women.

On Tuesday, my world was officially rocked when I learned that, for some women, childbirth isn't painful at all. I'm not talking about the girls who get copious amounts of pain medicine and simply feel nothing from the waist down. I'm talking about the real deal, natural childbirth.

As it turns out, there are certain individuals who find giving birth rather enjoyable. They actually like the feeling of passing an entire human through their vagina. They like it so much, in fact, that they have orgasms.

Told you it was yucky.

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3 Things I Hate, Vol. 2: Grammar Mistakes

Finally, I bring you the second installment of the "3 Things I Hate" series (5 months between posts isn't too bad, is it?). As some of you may know, I like proper grammar. I don't claim to be perfect, but I am that douche bag who will correct your grammar when you're speaking or writing. I know it's a bad habit, but so is mauling the English language, you illiterate dirtbags. So, at the risk of seeming like a snobbish prick, here's the hate:

3. Affect/Effect
This rule isn't that difficult, yet I see it violated all the time in emails and websites, and it drives me up a fucking wall.

Affect is a verb. Effect is a noun. That's it.

Examples:
a) The movie's sad ending affected me emotionally.
b) The movie's sad ending had an emotional effect on me.

See how that works? Good. Now use it!

2. Accept/Except
This mistake has come to my attention recently, because it is made consistently in memos and documents at the company where I work. This is a business, people, is it so much to ask for some proper grammar every once in a while?

Accept means to receive. Except means aside from.

Examples:
a) The actor accepted his award at the gala.
b) All of the nominated actors, except one, attended the awards gala.

Do you see, now, why I get so frustrated? These rules are so simple, and proper implementation will save me from having an aneurysm.

1. "Change we can believe in"
As I'm sure all of you know, "Change we can believe in" was Barack Obama's campaign slogan during his 2008 Presidential run. What you may not know, is that this slogan is grammatically incorrect.

You cannot end a sentence with a preposition! We do it in conversation, and I've probably even done it in this blog once or twice, but making that kind of an error on every written material used to promote a Presidential campaign is a bit ridiculous. This guy wants to be the leader of the free world, but he can't construct a proper sentence (please, spare me any comments regarding Bush's grammar, I know he's no Joseph Pulitzer either).

I know this isn't quite as catchy, but the slogan should have been "Change in which we can believe."

Lucky for Obama, American voters aren't geniuses and he still got elected.

Hey Barack, tell me more about your plans for education reform!

The Most Awesomest News Story for the Week of Jan 4-10, 2008

When a 6-year-old boy from Virginia missed the bus that takes him to school on Monday morning, he knew he had to find another way to get to school. After all, he couldn't be late or he'd miss breakfast and P.E. class. Like any good son would do, he didn't wake his parents and burden them with his predicament. Instead, he just took their car keys and drove himself...or at least he tried.

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The Most Awesomest News Story for the Week of Dec 28, 2008-Jan 3, 2009

On New Year's Eve, a 17-year-old girl from North Dakota called 911 to report a drunk driver. The police weren't surprised that there were drunk drivers on the road that night; it was New Year's after all. What did surprise them, however, was that the alleged drunk driver was the girl who called them.
In case you missed that: She called the police to tell them that she, herself, was driving under the influence. Genius.

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